A Shinier Britain

A Shinier Britain

Ta-ra then Tarzan, take your mane
we’ll never see your like again
it’s time we let the bald man reign
Give us a shinier Britain

No more gongs for gourmet barbers
or coiffured quiffs, we Brits would rather
give Humpty Dumpty all our ardour
Give us a shiner Britain

The tousled Trump look’s sort of needy
one part crispy, two parts seedy
I want an egg headed man to lead me
Give us a shiner Britain

Boo sucks to broadsheet lifestyle hacks
a leader’s job to lead or tax
not ponce about with gel and wax
Give us a shiner Britain

Yes balls to barnets, down with dos, no more matted men
I want a brut who’s less hirsute to baldy go to number Ten

Part man, part talking snooker ball
who looks like he knows how to brawl
and how it feels to lose it all
Give us a shiner Britain

With baldness comes humility
more oomph, increased virility
less pomade, more policy
Give us a shiner Britain

A man who’s frontal lobes get fried
every time he steps outside
nothing to loose and nowhere to hide
Give us a shiner Britain

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