Taller Than Twiggy

It’s official, I’m taller than Twiggy. Much taller. Another feather for my cap. I wrote a poem about my meeting Twiggy on Saturday Live earning me kudos with my dad, it is below. Twiggy signed an album for my dad and I signed the poem for her. Rumour has it it will be hung in her downstairs loo.

It was a lovely show as usual. I realised as I left that I probably won’t be back on the show until our baby arrives. That is indeed … I was going to say “sobering news” which is perhaps too much, it will after all be a very happy thing. However, it is a reality check. I need to sleep now. Sleep lots.

Here are me poems, short topical one and then the Twiggy piece, which is written in heroic couplets. I love heroic couplets, they are so wonderfully camp and silly.

The race for The White House has started in earnest
the world is along for the ride
they’re shooting their shotguns up into the ether
and claiming the Lord’s on their side.
And 2008 seems a long time ago
when I hear Rick Santorum’s shrill voice
and I know that the church is inclusive and that
but they can’t all be Jesus’ Choice.

*

Dear listener, you’ll be surprised to hear
that if you were to go back several years
and listen to my teenage poetry
it’s possible you might think less of me.
And you’d be right, for truly I was dreadful:
pretentious woe and bathos by the shedful
and so we must not harshly judge my dad
who went a shade of white and looked quite sad
when I announced for better or for worse
I planned to make a living from this wretched verse.

But credit where it’s due and here it is
he lets my mother drag him to my gigs
and though I’m sure he finds the most part vile
occasionally I see him crack a smile.
And that’ll do for me, my ego fed,
but then this week the thing turned on its head
I told him that our star guest was a biggy
and then the ears perked up, “oh really, Twiggy?
I wonder, Luke if could I lend a hand …”
my once suspicious father’s now my biggest fan.

So thank-you Twiggy, truly, much obliged
our father-son relationship now thrives
our living room has one less elephant
for now, at least, my doggerel’s more relevant.

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