Saturday Live

I had a nice time with Fi and co on Saturday live today. Here are my poems, the first is fairly self-explanatory and the second was in response to a couple who keep the garden of an abbey in Wiltshire, and they do so naked. I’m glad I managed to finally get the word ‘nud’ into a poem.


Let’s hear it for Joanna Lumley
her voice all lovely and crumbly
made Jackie all sorry and bumbly
wiped off her smirk as
She faced cameras somewhat more humbly
And let in our Gurkhas


Britain! Kick off your socks and your sandals
let that neat patch of lawn tickle your toes
then kick off your kecks, abandon your blouses
let’s go gardening without any clothes.

Damp down and prune and prick out all day long
exposed to the elements save for a thong
pot on and cut back, dead head and disbud
gardening’s good, but it’s best in the nud.

And here in the land of the stiff upper lip
I’m filled with such anti-establishment glee
that somewhere in Wiltshire – an abbey no less
there’s a couple as naked as Eve at the tree.

So what’s keeping us Britain just get ‘em off
give no thought to shape or to size or to age.
Lets see to our bushes, saplings and trunks
Let our bosoms swing free as we tend to our sage.

Our well being peaks as our green larder swells
So let’s nurture our nature au natural.


  • Tim Clare May 23, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    Oh STRONG. Mate, ‘Natural Britain’ is a great poem! No wonder you were in a celebratory mood afterwards. Good show!

  • Linda Alstead May 24, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    I heard Natural Britain while I was on my way to work in my car. It made me smile all day. Pure joy.


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