Kulcha

Oh, it’s blowing up a gail here in Bungay today. My son (2.5 years old) has just set off with his Nanna and Grandad in their enormous campervan to go and visit so friends. It’s a left-hand drive van and he’s in his car seat sitting on the right-hand side, so at a glance it looks like a little moon-faced two year old is driving a 2 ton machine. That’ll be fun for drivers of the A143.

I’ve got some books to send out for Nasty Little Press as our editorial assistant is on Xmas hols in Essex. Talking of NLP, we recently signed up for Amazon officially. We now make 5p on each book sold through that site, so if you’re considering going to them – DON’T. We have a very good online shop, and I may even lick the envelope myself.

I found a funny Tumblr yesterday – Goths Up Trees – do go and have a peek. I also recommend Girl On The Net, but be warned, if you like to pretend sex doesn’t exist, this is not the blog for you. I think she’s very funny.

I’ll be carrying on with my Hornchurch poems today, you can see yesterday’s effort below. I’ve also got to make a pie (send in your best recipes – I have feed 8) and write a speech for Thursday night when I will be handing out the prizes at my old sixth form college’s prize giving. How weird is that? I’m chuffed to be asked, I used to love sixth form, especially after I had hated my school so much. But still, I’m kind of surprised they asked. The sixth form (it’s in Colchester) has been going for over 20 years so they try and have alumni back every other year to do the prize giving. I’m following in the footsteps on Dermot O’Leary, who I have been told is television presenter.

Here’s the poem …

We’re Cultured Here in Hornchurch!

Dear Essex folk, I bring news that
there’s some who think our learning lacks
it’s high time that we answered back
We’re cultured here in Hornchurch!

There’s lots of highbrow things to do
we’ve Fairtkytes and we’ve Bretons too
our wine is fine, our cheese is blue
We’re cultured here in Hornchurch!

The cuisine’s mostly Corden Bleu
the Queen would like our restauranteurs
we’ve named our theatre after her
We’re cultured here in Hornchurch!

Cry hip-horray for Hornchurch mate, the Paris of South Essex
A kind of landlocked venice with East Anglian Aesthetics.

The chaps round here are gentlemen
no swords, they much prefer the pen
Romfordians? No we’re not like them
We’re cultured here in Hornchurch!

The ladies too would scarce carouse
so fine, the virtues they espouse
why, Jilly Cooper’s one of ours
We’re cultured here in Hornchurch!

The Essex town that theatre kissed
round here we know our Brahms from Liszt
I think by now you get the gist
We’re cultured here in Hornchurch!

The standard’s high in Hornchurch chaps, though other towns stoop low
the destination’s Essex but there’s other ways to go.

In Hornchurch don’t y’know we’re arty
Hark! I hear the tones of Sarti!
Look here, there’s the literarti
in the theatre sipping latte
next week there’s a garden party
Cultured here in Hornchurch!

So Romford keep your dingy pubs,
that “music” bleeding from your clubs
we want The Bard – Aye! There’s the rub!
We’re cultured here in Hornchurch!

So one more time for Hornchurch pals, near Rainham on a map
I’ve nothing else to say for now, I think I’ll shut my trap.

1 Comment

  • Lizzie Archibald January 3, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    Dear Luke wright,

    Well done for yet another successful poem! i remember speaking to you after a workshop that you did at Castle Rushen High School isle of man and i must say it was nice to have you there. but i have come to ask what competitions you had said to me that i should enter?

    please reply on my email or twitter

    @lizlizcoca
    lizlizcoca@live.co.uk

    my regards

    Elizabeth Archibald

    Reply

Leave a Reply