Grammar!

GRAMMAR!

To who, or whom, it may concern
verbose, composed or taciturn
a verse from which we all can learn
a verse concerning GRAMMAR!

Grammar? Huh? Yeah, don’t be dense
that thing what makes all things make sense
where us dyslexics come a cropper
Grammar I don’t do it proper!

But grammar’s not all heirs and graces
for whilst it has a Latin basis
we learn our tongue instinctively
from mum or dad or bad TV.

And some, of course, say “them”, not “those”
or dress their words in faddish clothes,
who swear blind that they “didn’t do nothing”
and other crude linguistic roughing

say “is it” not “are they” or worse
can only speak in rhyming verse,
drop commas like they’re Essex aitches –
they’re still communicative creatures.

Who banter, quip and joke with friends
their grammar perfect for their ends.
Pitched just right for their survival
Language, after all, is tribal.

Look, I’m in awe of Carver’s pauses
and Bertie Wooster’s complex clauses
but sometimes I prefer the bark
of LKJ or Johnny Clarke.

Yes, this is what I’m trying to say:
you don’t need all the rules to play.

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