On Revisiting John Betjeman’s Grave


A new song / poem. I thought calling a song “On Revisiting John Betjeman’s Grave” was a bit much. That’s the name of the poem, but you can refer to it as The Chains if that’s easier. Words below, song above. Vocalist is the stunning Lora Stimson. On Revisiting John Betjeman’s Grave Ten years ago we slouched up here to…

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Lullaby


A song to keep you awake late at night … Lullaby In half-heeled homes on terraced streets the suburbs sing their psalms: the charger buzz, the deadlock click, the shrieking, far-off car alarm. I’m sorry love, it’s nothing much – a carb and protein fix. Remember how we used to eat before the kids knocked us for six? Then here…

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It’s Great To Have My Country Back


It’s Great to Have My Country Back The dream of ’45 is dead united Europe full of lead division reigns but SHIT THE BED it’s great to have my country back! The markets shake like Georgie Best as Farridge thumps his flabby chest and struts about like Kayne West. It’s great to have my country back! Auf Wiedersehen Miss Merkel…

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Johnny Bevan wins Saboteur Award for Best Show


I’m honoured and humbled to have had a good evening at The Saboteur Awards on Friday. What I Learned From Johnny Bevan won Best show, and I was runner-up in the ‘Best Spoken Word Performer’ to Emily Harrison, a very deserving winner. Both awards were publicly voted, THANK-YOU for voting for me. I’m delighted that my work has struck a…

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Shortlisted for 2 Saboteur Awards


Good news from Sabotage HQ this morning – I’ve been shortlisted for two of their Saboteur Awards. Between now and 24th May YOU can vote for me in the following awards: Best Spoken Word Performer Best Spoken Word Show for What I Learned For Johnny Bevan If you think I deserve either of those do please go to saboteurawards.org –…

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Spad


I’m off to perform What I Learned From Johnny Bevan in the Palace of Westminster tonight. This poem felt appropriate, it’s about a spad (a political “special adviser” shooting his mouth off at a party.) It’s only got the vowel ‘a’ in it. SPAD Univocal lipogram in a At a flash bacchanal cash fans yak. Blaggards and brash gas Arabs,…

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Judge Crush


Judge Crush “On yer feet” the court clerk growls Then in he sweeps – a glour of scowls a scattergun of plummy vowels a crude shiv in the felon’s bowels. He’s wiser than A THOUSAND OWLS! He’s eighty-nine with cracking jowls and my libido howls and howls and howls I got a Judge Crush Jury duty just got fruity whisper…

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One Trick Bishop


One Trick Bishop Back when he was just a parson local scout hut fell to arson so in this dire, desperate hour he abseiled down his belfry tower. Cassock flapping, mental hair, nervous thumbs-up, little prayer. A vicar doing silly things, it fondly plucks the ticker’s strings. The Synod press team gave it welly (got a bit on local telly)…

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